Life Ain't Peaches and Cream All of the Time.

Ay yi yi, I didn’t think ol’ windbags was evah gonna shut up.  I felt sorry for the broad, she ain’t come from the same background as I do, doesn’t garnah the respect that a famous cat like me does, so  thought I’d be nice, let her write a few lines.  Next thing I know she’s writing a sermon or sumthin’ and has gots the whole room asleep.  Just goes to show, ya give sumbody an inch, she'll take a mile.

Anyway, back ta business.  Some of youse might recognize me from a few yeahs back.  I was one of tha real high rollahs, the what da ya call it, the crem de la kitty cream.  I was wheelin’ and dealin’, couldn’t nobody else in the catnip bidness touch me.  Tha nip ya needed, I hads it.  Salmon flavah, tuna flavah, even had a lobstah and haddock combo.  Coulda had my pick of the prettiest Persians, but I had my girl, Loretta.  Ain’t nobody got me bettah, and mrow, she was a beaut.  We were invited to all tha big parties.  Life was grand.  Loretta was on my arm and the dough was flowin claw ovah paw.  Then wes all know what happens, the mahket falls out.  Suddenly , every feline out there is cutting backs on their nip supply.  I have to sell tha gold plated littah box I gots.  That was the last straw for Loretta.  Next thing I know, she leaves me and starts prowlin around with the new guy in town, Rocco somebodys.  I can’t even gets a room at tha sphinx hotel anymore. 

From 1,000 count bed to sink.  Ay yi yi, but a cat's gots to do what a cat's gots to do.  i'm tellin ya though, that silver thing ain't too soft on the tooshie, whewie.

An old colleague slips me a pictuah of Loretta's new guy, Rocco.  Supposedly he's gots a few nightclubs downtown.  Sheesh, Loretta doesn't even like grey hair!

After a few nights finishing off my nip supply and hangin with the alleycats, I decide I gots to do sumthin.  I gotta, whats it called, reinvent myself.  I gots to be a renaissance cat.  Whewie, I ain’t gots to the top of the nip bidness without having sum smahts.  Plus, not too many cats out there gonna rival these whiskers.  So, I swallow my pride and move in with tha abroad above.  Staht to consider acting.  I means, whats it gotta take besides good looks and a few flicks of the tail?  And those two things I gots.  Start pouring ovah scripts, holding rehearsals in my new place.  Realize I need an outlet for my emotions.  Staht writing my thoughts down.  Realize that otha people need to know all this wisdom I gots up in tha ‘ol noggin.  Realize maybe that Loretta will see tha real me again, and leave that slob, rocco whatshhisname.  As that saying goes, us cats, wes got nine lives, and well, I gots at least that many.